Once again a great yarn Laurie. I really like this sentence - "He paused, not waiting for an answer, he paused for effect." I like the way it treats me as if I might not understand, and by doing so it really involves me in the story and makes me feel I'm on the same level as the characters within the story. Bloody beauty.
Comedy..mouse..so up your alley. Then spice it up with a mob funeral and its magnifico! Death At A Funeral meets The Godfather. Loved it and could easily picture these mafioso buffoons sweating bricks with fear. Very clever.
Good reading thhis post
Write a piece using the Genre/Character/Location/Event chosen at our evening 'Live, Love Laugh' held at Rendezvous.